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Weeping WillowWeeping Willow
The willow is weeping
Tears of crimson blood
Dripping from its branches
In permanent mourning
For all of the innocent children
Beaten by its boughs
I pull the sheets up to my chin
Waiting quietly for him to come
He comes to me every night
And this night will be no different
It's a little after midnight
When he finally arrives
Creeping silently into my room
He pads across the floor
Eventually leaping onto my bed
Poised at the foot
Never attacking me
Never touching me
His mouth stretches into a Cheshire grin
And he utters one simple word:
And then he's gone
At least until tomorrow night
My Sweet PearMy Sweet Pear
She is my everything
She is small and curvy
With pleasant tanned skin
And a round, ample bottom
But there's a problem
I'm almost out of food
And I won't get my pay check
For another two weeks
It seems I may have to eat
My sweet pear for dinner
Madame Tooth FairyMadame Tooth Fairy
Silence has fallen through the house,
And our heroine makes her appearance
With her tutu and wand in hand,
She seems very picture of innocence
But appearances can be deceiving!
She is the tooth fairy
And you shall fear her!
She steals into houses in the night
Stealing precious teeth!
The teeth of your children
Must be protected
For who knows what a pixie with a tooth fetish
Would do with them?
Why, I do!
I know what she would do with them!
For she is I!
And your teeth shall soon be mine!
Doctor Frammenbauer and the LovebugDoctor Frammenbauer and the Lovebug
My name is Doctor Frammenbauer!
It's very nice to meet you!
I am a genius
And a scientist
Though some say that I'm mad
But they're wrong!
I am the most brilliant mind on Earth!!
And I have a very special surprise
Planned for all the lovebirds
On Valentine's Day
Say hello to the Lovebug!
It transforms the chemicals associated with love
Into a virus
That makes all those in love into zombies!
Do you remember that old phrase
"I could just eat you up?"
Well, all the lovers will!
They'll love their minds
And become flesh-eating zombies
And willingly devour each other
Leaving only those who are immune to love
To rule the world
I'll offer you a bit of advice
Before the Lovebug is activated:
Or it will be the death of you!
Just DessertsJust Desserts
The hot Jamaican sun beats down on Brittany la Fleur, but she doesn't care in the least.
After all, the sun is essential to developing the tan she so desperately desires. Her mother ended up with the wrinkled skin of a turtle and eventually died from skin cancer, but that doesn't matter to Brittany.
You see, she's an idiot.
She's such an idiot, in fact, that the tuxedo-clad zombie that marches out onto the veranda is just her type.
She whistles at him, but he doesn't respond to her. Apparently her interest in him isn't mutual.
"Hey, you!" she calls, splaying herself out in as tantalizing a position as she can manage.
The zombie still doesn't react to her.
She fluffs up her frayed, bottle-blonde hair and bats her mascara-coated eyelashes at him, but it doesn't make a difference at all. He's still ignoring her.
"Fine then," she says to him, crossing her arms and sinking down into herself. "I didn't want your attention anyway."
She glares at him, barely takin
Home InvasionHome Invasion
After a long, hard day at work,
It's finally time to relax and unwind
I decide to close myself up in the bathroom
For a nice, warm bubble bath
The perfect way to end the day
Ten minutes later, the bath comes to fruition
This is the life
Until I hear a crash
There's someone in the house
Who in the world...?
It could be anyone
An escaped mental patient...
I can't stop myself from shaking
But I somehow manage to get out of the tub
Slipping into my bathrobe
And quickly retrieving a pair of scissors
From the medicine cabinet
I hope it'll be enough to hold them off...
Could there be more than one?
I shiver at that
What am I supposed to do?
I could fight
But I think it's be better to hide
But before I can think of a proper plan
He's in the bathroom with me
Pinning me to the wall as he pushes into me
One hand over my mouth
As the other grip
Red and PurpleRed and Purple
Quite a bit of my body
Has gone red and purple
Crimson welts on my hips
Left behind by your nails
They sting a bit
But I like it
Violet circles on my neck
Marks left by your mouth
They ache a but
But it doesn't bother me
My body is almost completely marked-up
Temporarily damaged, tainted by you
But that's all right
Those colors have stained you, too
"On your knees"
His voice rings through my ears
And I immediately follow his order
Again, I do as he says
In truth, I rather enjoy it
It's a massive turn-on for me
Does that make me a sick individual?
But I don't mind it
Because he's every bit as sick as I am
From the predatory gleam in his eyes
To his animalistic smirk
To his nails clawing into the back of my neck
I enjoy this as much as he does
And soon it'll be my nails digging into him
Leaving deep, bloody welts down his back
And he won't mind at all
Because you know
Being sick isn't so bad
When there's someone equally sick
To stand beside you
And he'll always have me
Even if only as a captive
Ways...Cleaning Your Room...Cause...InjuryWays That Cleaning Your Room Can Cause [Potentially Fatal] Injury
1. You trip and fall and die.
2. You can't see your floor and don't realize until too late that your floor has rotted away under all your stuff.
3. You find some old food and decide to eat it, but it's gone bad [and so you die].
4. You uncover a large carnivorous plant which eats you.
5. In the midst of cleaning you allow an onfectious disease to contaminate your entire room.
6. You step on something pointy and potentially bleed to death.
7. You find your hungry poisnous pet you lost last year and it's not very happy to see you.
8. You somehow end up buried beneath piles of stuff and are effectively stuck and likely suffocated or trampled when someone comes to find out where you've been for the past week.
9. You're a perfectionist and refuse to leave your room until it is totally spotless and stay there forever until you starve or die of thirst.
10. You decide to rearrange the furniture and knock some over on top of you.
Mary"She lived in this house
years of her life."
Climbing the same creaky
stairs and fearing
the same dark
A simple white house,
(think American Gothic).
Our narrating detective
came to inspect the body,
but his presence seemed missing --
there was no glass in the frames,
only screens in the windows,
protruding nails instead of
Except for one cracked mirror,
leaning lengthwise on the bedroom floor.
So old, naught but a penumbra
on her porch, "she spent
most her seen time wearing a veil"
in an alabaster rocking-chair --
always moving but
"Once lithe and lively, Old Mary
was once Savannah's sweetheart."
Helter-skelter, in youth, men
pursued but she was known for
her unrefined denials.
"Never married, never cared to."
Loved far and wide and deep,
but by none more than
Subsequently the sons of her dejected
suitors were taught to detest her.
Beauty is temporary,
she learned better so than anyone.
All see their own mold
when i'm sad i like to write sad poetryso the other day my mom came into my room and told me it smelled like my aunt and dad and other such dead people.
it alarmed me, but i realized something.
i'm going to tell you this right now.
when you grow up and have kids or cats or goats or some sort of life to take care of (even if it's a rock), make sure to tell them unsettling things such as their room smells like the dead or their eyes look lost, abandoned at sea. because it will make them wonder and it will make them think, both two very painful but necessary actions we must perform in order to be a successful human living.
Baked BeansI've been sitting down, riding down a boxcar
Sealed in shut, with my friends.
We're packed tight, drowning, but we have gone far.
Far enough, opening, the bruises and cuts.
Welcome to the feast, the fires sweep
Gather around for the entrance
Taking ourselves out of the streets,
Our hell is Earth, Earth a factory.
Ready to leave, ready to eat, ready to die.
I'd like to fly
Into the sky.
Take my hand, lead me into the air, out of hell.
Carried off by rodents, dropping off fleas
Letting off misty baked steam.
Morning, Afternoon, Last evening
Where were you?
Who was there to see the steam
When it carried a needle?
Shooting straight up, penetrating through
Widening a hole, out of the blue,
Out with the old, still blue.
Let it fly
Into the sky.
I'm, I'm going higher.
I'm so high.
Take their hands, lead them out of the air, into hell.
Could you call this fate? Brown,
Brown everywhere - Brown in the air, brown on the ground.
Like a maze, let's wade through
As if it was our everyday commute.
D-Day -Friday Parody-(Yeah, Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Allies)
Oo-ooh-ooh, hoo yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah
5th of June, postpone the invasion
Gotta be clear, gotta have some sun
Gotta have armour, gotta have a gun
Seein' everything, the time is goin'
Tickin' on and on, nobody's Russian
Gotta get to Normandy Beach
Gotta catch my plane, I see Allies (Allies)
British in the front seat
Aussies in the back seat
Gotta make my mind up
Which seat can I take?
It's D-Day, D-Day
Gotta free France on D-Day
Everybody's lookin' forward to the war's end, war's end
Freein' France on D-Day
Everybody's lookin' forward to the war's end
Nazis dead, Nazis dead (Yeah)
Nazis dead, Nazis dead (Nein)
Bang, bang, bang, bang
Lookin' forward to the war's end
6th day of June, we're landin' on the beach sand
Fallin' so fast, I want time to fly
Mom, mom, think about mom
You know what it is
I got him, you got him
Norwegians by my right
I got him, you got them
Now you know it
Polish in the fr
Your little life in stereotypeElementary School: You're an annoying little snot-nosed brat who has to be talked down to because everybody assumes you're that ignorant of the world.
Middle School/Junior High: You're a hormonal little twerp who's just starting to notice the opposite sex. You're at an awkward phase where you're struggling with your identity, so you listen to shitty music and buy clothes at Hot Topic because you think that makes you a rebel.
High School: Image and the opinions of others is everything to you. You're either a fat Goth/Emo, a virginal gamer nerd, an asshole jock with severe insecurities, a damaged slut who has daddy issues, a goody-goody two-shoes tattletale, an idiot stoner without ambition, a sociopathic bully and/or parking lot bruiser, or an overworked nerd who will graduate valedictorian if you don't shoot yourself first. You respect nobody who is over two years older than you or younger than you, and you especially don't care about your parents.
Santa Goes to Community College"I'm sorry, Peppermint Pat. You’ve done nothing wrong, really. I just can’t afford to keep you around anymore. So I’m sorry to say that… you’re fired.”
“What? Fired! You can’t do this to me! I’ve been working for you for almost 962 years now! I’ve got a wife and kids!” cried Peppermint Pat. “What am I supposed to do?”
His former employer shook his head in remorse. “I hear there is a job opening as a shoemaker. With your skills I’m sure you could--”
“I don’t want to make shoes, or cookies, or anything but toys! I’m a Christmas elf dammit!” Peppermint Pat tried to keep the tears from his little elf eyes as he stood up from his chair and made his way towards the door. “Fine! If you don’t want me anymore then you can’t fire me because I quit!” With that, he threw is floppy green and red striped hat to the ground and stormed out of the office.
Societal ObservationsI will now discuss some societal observations I have made over my past 16 years here on planet Earth.
One particular thing I have noticed that doesn't make sense to me is that kids swear around other kids but not around adults and adults swear around other adults but not around kids. So why can't we all just smegging swear? I understand wanting to protect children's innocence but if they're using the words themselves already, there's not really anything to protect. The cat is out of the bag, people. We all have used or have been exposed to swear words at one time or another in our lives. Why does it have to be such a vast secretive conspiracy between the generations?
Also, I've noticed that our society has made sex worse than violence. For example, a parent will fast-forward through a sexual scene in a movie and skip right to the bloody, brutal murder scene. "Oh, it's fine for my child to see someone get brutally stabbed to death and bleed out all over the floor but heaven forbid they
They and Claudia
They say that her name
And she loved to collect shells.
Claudia was often
By their beautiful color.
She loved shells so much,
Claudia would walk for hours
Around the beach,
Just to collect a few more.
"Even a minor detail,"
She often said,
"Can make you fall in love
With a single shell."
Claudia was walking near the beach,
And found a slightly damp,
But extremely beautiful seashell.
The shell glistened with many colors,
Like a small, compact rainbow,
So she put it in her pocket
And walked back home.
The next day,
Claudia was walking near the beach,
But something was wrong.
The air smelled
Of burnt cigarettes,
The silent waves continuously
Crashed into the earth,
And there was not a single shell
To be found.
As the waves rushed closer towards her,
The sand disappearing into the water,
Claudia felt the strong urge to run,
But her body was paralyzed in fear.
The only thing Claudia could do,
Was close her eyes,
As the sea pulled her down
To the ocean floor b
Dirty Little NudistDirty Little Nudist
There's a dirty little nudist
Running all around my house
His hair is orange
And his eyes are gold
There's a dirty little nudist
Lying lazily around the house
And he delights in sitting on people
Especially when they're busy
There's a dirty little nudist
Playing outside the house
His name is Mah Jongg
And he is the sweetest cat on Earth
Keep in Touch!
^Nyx-Valentine arrived in our community and started whipping everyone into a frenzy with her relentless desire to bring the Artistic Nude and Fetish galleries to the fore. 9 years later, and it's safe to say that Nyx is not only a leader as a photographer in these galleries, but she has also established herself as a much saught after model. ^... Read More